You Might Be a Parent If...

                I’m sure as you read this, most of you are fairly certain whether or not you are a parent.  But since it’s the holidays and we all have a few spacey moments, this should help clarify things for you.  If any of the items listed below apply to you, you might be a parent.  If most or all of them apply, you probably have lots of kids.

 

You might be a parent if:

-          You stash wet wipes in your vehicle;

-          You’ve ever wiped someone else’s nose on your sleeve;

-          You know what BPAs are and whether anything you own contains them;

-          Your cell phone’s protective case could survive a deep sea dive;

-          You drive a Honda Odyssey;

-          You find spare cheerios in your pockets, purse, car, closets;

-          You fantasize about sleeping;

-          Your purse contains someone else’s backup underpants, emergency fruit snacks, and/or goldfish crackers;

-          You know what I mean by “emergency” fruit snacks;

-          You frequently refer to yourself in the third person;

-          You regularly spell swear words;

-          You’ve ever uttered the phrase “we don’t say ‘stupid’”;

-          You regret not buying stock in Clorox wipes;

-          You could stand your ground in a lengthy debate about costco vs target brand diapers;

-          Your morning routine takes less than fifteen minutes;

-          You catch yourself tying your shoes by making two bunny ears;

-          There is an Elf on your shelf;

-          You’ve ever gotten out of bed at midnight to move said Elf;

-          Your Facebook feed is consumed with photos of other people’s kids, birth announcements, and complaints about circulating viruses;

-          You know what a “sleep sack” is;

-          You buy multiple gallons of milk each week;

-          You’ve ever written Mattel to ask them to stop selling Barbie wearing shoes;

-          You know how to swaddle;

-          You can say “we don’t eat boogers” with a straight face;

-          You schedule everything around nap time;

-          You eat dinner before 6pm;

-          You have chicken nuggets in your freezer;

-          You’ve ever hidden in your laundry room to eat candy;

-          The bottom three feet of your Christmas tree are completely bare;

-          You refer to acquaintances as _____’s Mom rather than by name;

-          You handle glitter like hazardous waste;

-          You hang signs by your doorbell, threatening anyone who dares ring it;

-          You’ve caught yourself singing “Old Macdonald” or “Twinkle Twinkle” in the  shower;

-          Your lunch often consists of half-eaten and/or rejected portion’s of other people’s meals;

-          You’ve ever said aloud that you have to go potty.

Happy holidays everyone!!! Thanks again for reading and sharing!