It seems no one likes daylight
savings time changes, least of all parents. Trying to survive the DST change
with a toddler is like trying to get through a zombie apocalypse. Well, except
not only do you have to make sure the zombie doesn’t kill you but you also have
to actually keep it fed, bathed, and safe.
DST results in tired, cranky
toddlers, and when kids lose sleep, well, that results in tired, cranky
parents. Toddlers can sense weakness, and they will capitalize on it. That is
why DST results in a particularly challenging day for parents.
To help you celebrate this beloved
(not) indicator of spring, here are 23 (in honor of the hours in this day)
tantrums for your reading enjoyment, courtesy of my beloved toddler.
1. 5am
tantrum because she can’t find the missing toy cupcake. Why are there toy
cupcakes in her bed? Why is she awake at 5am which, incidentally feels a lot
like 4am to my sleep-deprived time change body.
2. 7am
tantrum because her pancakes are too big.
3. 7:02
tantrum because I cut her pancakes in response to the last tantrum (apparently
she wanted small, whole pancakes).
4. 7:15
tantrum because she wants the silver remote to operate the Roku.
5. 7:30
crying because her swimsuit straps are twisted.
6. 7:34
angry because I dared attempt to help her with her swimsuit straps.
7. 7:35
really angry that her swimsuits are in time out after being thrown at my head.
8. 7:40
upset because I won’t let her pour her own milk.
9. 7:45
mad because it’s raining.
10. 8:15
randomly shouting “stop saying that” to the unsuspecting narrator on Super Why.
11. 8:30
politely requests a snack of goldfish. Then insists on getting it herself.
Drags bar stool to pantry, climbs onto it then begins to scale remaining pantry
shelves. I point out that her snacks are on the bottom shelf (easily reachable
sans chair). Launches self off chair onto top shelf and shrieks like a monkey
when I attempt to pull her down.
12. 8:40
removes all toys from baby’s reach because “she’s not using them right.” When I
explain babies play and learn differently from big girls, she begins writhing
on the floor screaming “stop putting that in your mouth Bella!”
13. 9am
heads upstairs and dresses self in blue velour sweatpants and matching zip up
hooded sweatshirt, no shirt underneath (if you’re picturing a 70s porn mogul
here, you’ve got the right image). I attempt to brush her hair and the
brush—along with all others in the home—are hidden.
14. 9:30
we head outside to play. She takes off down the street on her tricycle while
I’m still fastening baby into the stroller. I catch her and take her back to
the driveway, prompting the tantrum.
15. 9:40
she is too hot in her sweatshirt so she takes it off. I tell her we need to go
get a tee shirt to put on because she can’t play outside topless (particularly
with 12 construction workers next door now gawking). Cue the tantrum.
16. 9:45
While we are inside looking for a shirt, she finds a bra and asks to try it on.
Then she proceeds to throw a tantrum because her “boobies are too little.”
17. 10am
I hand her goldfish in a bowl in hopes that the tantrums are a result of low
blood sugar. Bowl is thrown at my head.
18. 10:03
Just as toddler is completing her time out, I notice the massive puddle
surrounding her. I see that she has
peed, soaking herself and her surroundings, and ask why she didn’t go to the
potty. She says “because my time wasn’t up in time out yet” with a knowing
smirk on her face. Well played, Toddler,
well played.
19. 10:30
We take a shower. She throws a fit because the water is “too wet.”
20. 10:45
Another tantrum because her hooded towel “superhero cape” keeps tripping her as
she sprints back and forth down the hall, much like the dog does after her
bath.
21. 11am
We are working on a Sesame Street puzzle, and she can’t get an end piece to fit
in the middle where she wants it to go. Puzzle piece is thrown.
22. 11:15
I’m feeding baby and she’s eating lunch. Or so I think. Actually, she’s
painting her toe nails. With lip gloss. I spot her, and she takes off
sprinting, trekking the lip gloss all over the floors.
23. 12:30
tantrum over nap time because she’s “really and truly not tired yet, Mama.”
Ummm yeah…
There
you have it folks. Now we have just a few months to get adjusted to the new
time and then we can do this all over again come fall!
